I’m kind of struggling at the moment. I can’t decide who I am and why I have this persona of who I am around different people. Who do I have to impress? Why do I have to impress you? The reasons I try so hard is to be noticed and to be recognised for something. I can’t be me around particular people and I suppose that’s okay sometimes but it becomes so much more than that. I become someone I don’t even know. I can’t talk to you about my feelings and thoughts because they’re not mine they’ll be this other side of me talking. It’s not just something I do I have a personality disorder. Or not so the government says so I can’t be treated for it medically or officially have a mental disorder until I’m 18. So no I don’t know why this side of me tries to impress you when the real me is interesting and has some good points to make. But I can’t be myself, do you understand? Do you understand now?